Happy Wife, Happy Life?

[To the reader: I understand this question is not all inclusive. I understand that it is not relevant in every case. It is not a reflection of the general attitude of all men or women. It is not an attempt to categorize anyone or any gender, nor is it intended to be offensive in any way. It’s just a question.]

A common saying these days is, “Happy wife, happy life.”

It certainly wins the approval of the secular community, but is this Biblical? While not always the case, it is quite common for the potential wife to be the one pursued in the early stages of the relationship, and this often sets the tone in a marriage that follows. The husband feels he must always keep her happy, and the wife feels it’s his job to do so.

It eventually turns into a completely one-sided relationship where the wife feels no obligation to reciprocate or apply any effort to the marriage whatsoever. She simply sits and waits to be satisfied in some way. Even in marriages where the man is a giver, it simply cannot be maintained. Even a giver has needs, and if they are continually unmet, he will give out.

I understand there are cases where the reverse is true, but the result is the same. So, perhaps a better question is: What is the proper ratio between the pursuer and the pursued in a relationship between husband and wife? Shouldn’t each be the pursuer?

So, then the question becomes this: How do you set that tone in a relationship? Then: How do you maintain that tone? Finally: How do you get two people to spend a lifetime pursuing each other?