1000 Ways to Fall

[To the reader: This is less a story and more of a warning. Disclaimer – As I write this, I know that it is from my singular point of view. I fully realize I’m not perfect…every single day.]

I’ve lived in a bad marriage most of my life. I’m sure the signs were there early on, but I was too stupid, love struck, and starry eyed to notice. I was too impatient and just couldn’t wait to have sex; sad and pathetic, but true. It’s all my fault in reality: the blame for not waiting on God, not seeking God, and not following God’s will rests squarely on my shoulders. And so do the results.

I was saved in my teens but did not fully surrender to God until maybe a decade later; mistake #1. I followed my own will and my own way. This led me to a woman who was—or seemed to be—what I wanted. I forged ahead and married her despite being warned that I wasn’t ready; mistake #2. I wouldn’t fully realize the depths of badness until we had been married a few years; mistake #3. By then, of course, it was far past too late. I was fully engaged and trapped in a marriage that has in every way tried me past any limit I ever thought I had.

So, that’s the warning. Place God first in your life, seek Him first, trust Him with everything, most especially your mate. If He says wait, no, or yes, just trust Him.

My wife is my first and only. I have been tempted, but I’ve never strayed. But straying isn’t the only way to fall, it isn’t the only way to sin, and it isn’t the only path to misery.

A bad marriage—any marriage that isn’t God’s will—has in store a cacophony of voices that will try their best to lead the Christian off the path of faith. Marrying the wrong person will introduce you to trials that The Lord never intended for you to face. Anger, bitterness, even hatred await the saved soul that was too impatient to wait for God’s will.

A confession: I wrote “Second Chance” after seeing the woman I abandoned to seek my own will. It’s absolutely true right until the part where I knocked on her door. She never married. Not only did I ruin my life for not waiting, I also ruined hers. I’m not in lust for her, but I do live in regret.

I don’t look forward to judgment day because of my many failures. I’m writing this gloomy and doleful confession to warn anyone who hasn’t yet made my mistakes. Please don’t. He isn’t worth it. She isn’t worth it.

No marriage is perfect, and life is tough enough even if you marry God’s choice for you. Don’t create for yourself an additional 1000 ways to fall.

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