Desperate for spiritual help

My husband and I have been married for 5+ years. To my knowledge marriage has its ups and downs. We’ve had highs and recently were just in a funk of less intimacy and financial struggles. (Working a business with family, stress around the holidays, etc) I believed I married a Godly man who was simply quiet about his faith.

He was recently arrested and would not tell me what was happening. I eventually found the warrants for his arrest, and found 10+ charges of inappropriate communication with minors (pictures, etc). There were no physical relations.

My life has been flipped upside down. I know my calling is to “teach” and my career is what God has put me on this earth to do. I work with children and this “secret”  has traumatized me. I have a wonderful support system in every aspect of my life-family & work. As clear as the Bible is about my options and the many opinions of others encouraging me to leave… I am so broken as to how I will ever trust anyone again.I loved being a wife and sharing my life with someone I loved.

There are sadly NO podcasts, sermons, or books (that I can find) that fit my specific situation. There are plenty of resources for affairs- just not with minors. I have already forgiven him because I do love my husband and know God commands us to forgive. But I cannot reconcile our marriage. This event has made me feel ugly and has made me believe I am only likable because I look young but not young enough.

please share if you have been in this situation and what helped you. I am seeking counseling, still attending my church. Obviously reading my bible and praying. Or any information/resources that would help me navigate this grief, confusion, hurt, and neglect.

 

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